


Janine

by AnAnYaH



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27097951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnAnYaH/pseuds/AnAnYaH
Summary: Exploring that nothing, which is Sherlock and Janine. Not a love story.Pov Sherlock after John's marriage.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & Janine, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & Molly Hooper, Sherlock Holmes/Janine/John Watson
Kudos: 11





	Janine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sherlock_is_actually_a_girls_name](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock_is_actually_a_girls_name/gifts).



> Thank you for the beta Athena ❤️ happy reading.

**Part 1 : The Signs Of Four**

**Pov Sherlock :**

I said “yes” when John asked me to be his best man; said “yes” when Mary requested me to play at the wedding and didn’t say no when Mrs.Hudson suggested matching outfits , took help from friends to prepare a perfect best man speech, or to throw a perfect Bachelorette, composing wasn’t the hardest part - seeing the empty chair, while composing …. was. 

The signs were there. Mary Mortson …. Watson showed all the signs of pregnancy the whole day,and to be the one breaking it to the couple was a beautiful feeling, even for me. They laughed , I smiled. They were thrilled , I was happy - they went for a dance - I stood alone. 

The day was full of signs, the signs of three , I had known it - but as they went to the dance floor - I realized that there were no signs of four. “ We three can’t dance - people will talk" - of course we couldn’t , there are limits to a couple's dance. And it wasn’t anything like the Baker Street rehearsals. It was “The” day - The biggest day of your life. 

“......And I want to be with the two people who I love and care about the most - Mary Mortson … and you “ 

And as the day was finally getting over John, I realised, you wouldn’t be needing the latter anymore. 

Dancing alone wasn’t the hardest part - seeing other people dance with other people...was. My eyes searched for Janine, and I wasn’t very sad to see her happily dancing with the man I told her was her best bet. My eyes looked for Molly Hooper next ; dancing happily with Tom - no - on her own , hiding herself under the shadow of a certain Tom , she didn't love. Because the man who she did , was incapable of giving her the same. - Aren’t we the same?

Aren’t we the same ? I wasn’t ready to ask myself that question for a long time. But after I did, I had to leave.

“Who leaves a wedding early ?"

\- Sherlock Holmes.

**Part 2 : What I Need.**

**Pov Sherlock :**

Three days have passed since the wedding, domestic bliss , some said - John is suspected to have found  that after all. Sometimes I can hear his chair screaming at me to bring his man back,  but thanks to Billy who knows when to wake me up. But it's not Billy who I want. It's not even John. Not John, John is happy, I wouldn't do that to Mary. Mary is my friend. And I have vowed to protect them. 

Tough words from an addict - said Billy. But of course he lacks the potential to say something like that t o my face. Did I say it out loud? No, of course it was my mind messing. "I am a user" I shouted at him - lie! - I told that to myself.

But Billy is saying something. I wonder what.

"Mister Holmes, I need you to focus " 

Billy doesn't call me Holmes - he is not even that tall most importantly Bill doesn't wear a dress - it is a woman, an old woman, someone I know, not Mrs.Hudson, someone related to Mycroft!-Oh!

"You need to pay attention , Mr.Holmes. - I have some serious business to discuss. "

"I am high! All I need is to wash my face "

**Part 3 : So you see Janine ...**

**Pov Sherlock :**

To get hold of Charles Augustus Magnassen , I needed an inside man. But I didn't know that I already knew the woman inside Charles' locked doors. Janine! 

I showed up outside her flat and asked her for a dance. She was worse than John. But both had one thing in common, the smile on their face. There was no music, only the sound of her happiness. At least one of us wasn't faking, I thought - but when the dance ended and she left , my hands felt the loss of hers - Just like Baker Street.

I stood there till she came back. " Thank you for the dance," she said. 

"Thank you for dancing "  \- came out of my mouth . Unplanned!

Later that night, Baker Street felt more empty. 

**Lunch? - SH ,** next day I asked her for lunch

**Dinner? -SH,** day after that , I took her to dinner

**Movie ? - SH,** day after that, we went for movie

**Date ? - SH,** On the fourth day, she agreed t o a date.

Going back home after the third formal date, I told myself that it was essential for the case to give Janine the keys to my flat . I knew in my heart it wasn't really for the case.

Overwhelmed with Joy she approached for a kiss - I allowed it - I lied to myself that it was for a case. 

When her lips departed, I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Each night after work she visited my place, we ate, drank, kissed, slept. In the mornings, when she used to leave for work, I went to the nearest possible drug den for part two of my plan.

Sleeping on my back watching the ceiling of that abandoned dump house, I wondered if ever I would be ready to move on? Would I be able to give anyone what I could have given the man who is not mine in the first place? If I could ever give Janine something more than just a kiss ? All the questions remained unanswered cause drugs and exhaustion made me close my eyes. 

"Maybe after marriage," one day I was not exhausted enough to listen to my own answer.

The same day John showed up and found you inside my room. And seeing him jealous and confused made me forget everything I felt I had realized before John. I made him the king again and  you , my pawn. My life again started to revolve around the man I called my best friend and everything I did next was just to impress him, give him a taste of t he life he was missing on , get back that taste myself - overwhelmed by which I completely forgot that I never kissed you for the sake of just the case . Every kiss was given and taken out of my own misery and emptiness. Except the last one, last kiss was a show - performed for the king. 

But now that his Queen has shot me and I am burdened with the job of serving my vow, and now that you are happily buying a cottage and settling in, it doesn't matter if I say it out loud that , I wasn't lying when I said "I was waiting for marriage," I was indeed waiting for our marriage.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
